The Ring (2002)
Best thing: Naomi Watts plays a more self-assured and quirky version of the mother/journalist character from the original Ring. The original character felt a bit wet to me and that's certainly not true of Naomi Watts here.
Worst thing: The remake of Ring is much more of a jump scare fuelled affair, though not as much as I remembered. The first time I saw it the sound system had me really feeling all the atmospheric sound effects trying to make me jump, but this time around it didn't seem so insistent. Still the jump scare noise before Naomi Watts finds a millipede is still stupid. Another stupid jump scare is where one of the bodies is discovered. Also, particularly ridiculous is Brian Cox's death scene. (He set up a load of electrical equipment in his bathroom just because Naomi Watts showed up?) But the daftest part, to my mind, is where the film expects me to be creeped out by a ladder leaning against a building. Has our protagonist never heard of window cleaners?
Many seem to prefer this version to the original and I cannot even begin to fathom why. For me, the over-dramatic musical cues and the regular attempts to use loud noises to alarm the audience becomes incredibly distracting.
The filmmakers have tried to up the ante by using a range of creepy distinctive imagery/effects. The stand-outs are probably the runaway horse and the fly that escapes from a television screen. But in a way the imagery distracts from the central threat from Sadako (now renamed Samara). In the original Japanese film the imagery in the deadly videotape all acted as clues to the identity of Sadako, but it's not clear that a ladder is terribly relevant. The American movie of The Ring is much of a ghost story and not the unique supernatural mystery that characterised the original.
One piece of new imagery which I thought still pushed the mystery forward was where the ex-husband sees his face distorted in CCTV footage in a corner shop. That was an effective new piece of imagery which didn't feel superfluous to the story.
One reviewer I read praised the sequel for having a version of Sadako who actively misleads the protagonists. But in the original Ring, Sadako doesn't care whether the protagonists solve the mystery or not. She's not misleading them. She simply broadcasts her hatred and anyone who receives the signal dies. Making Samara a character that can be 'helped' is to follow the ridiculous idea of a ghost made more powerful by having died. (Ghost stories so often suggest that dying can give you superpowers.)
I'd also note that if the child in this film knows that they shouldn't help Samara, perhaps he could have mentioned that information earlier? He really feels like the kid from the Shining if that kid were permanently stuck in RED RUM mode. He's such a creepy weirdo rather than sweetly quirky like the kid in the original film.
I find The Ring to be cheesy, far more generic than the original and a bit of a slog. Too many parts just strike me as plain stupid for me to give it much credit. And when its sole existence is to re-sell a great film to audiences who don't like subtitles, I feel quite justified in dismissing it.
D+
Rings (2005) - short film
You can watch this short film here.
Best thing: A security guard for an electronics store stops our desperate 'ring' member from broadcasting the cursed video. It was a cool moment because the security guard's recognition shows how widespread knowledge of the evil video has become.
Worst thing: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake director (Jonathan Liebesman) made this and while the shorter runtime suits him, the film still has that same washed out look and the actors still look way too made-up as is often seen in Platinum Dunes movies (i.e. Bay-produced horror remakes). Some may remember that the Nightmare On Elm Street remake had incredibly well-groomed kids apparently suffering from sleep deprivation and the Friday 13th remake featured a girl who had apparently been kidnapped and kept underground for several months, yet looked like she'd just had a makeover. Rings isn't really so bad and the protagonist does look genuinely traumatised by his experiences, but the characters generally seem pretty flat, playing second fiddle to the snazzy (yet pale washed-out) effects work and everyone's fantastic hair just makes it all seem that much less real.
Well, whoever wrote this seems to actually understand the originally intended meaning of the word "ring". All this "before you die, you see the ring" stuff is just so annoying. The Japanese version didn't have a ring image in the cursed tape footage.
I actually think the way this short film makes use of the symbolism of the first movie is more effective. They even make the milipede work better by having our protagonist puke out a huge one that distorts in a way indicative of a television broadcast. Still weird but much more genuinely striking and creepy instead of relying on the jump-scare background noise.
This short film is a little unsatisfying, but it's still good enough to get viewers excited about the next movie which is essentially its purpose. Apparently the next American movie will have this title and I'm quite interested to see what is done with the concept.
The short film Rings is fine. Quite music video-y but a good appetiser nonetheless.
B-
The Ring Two (2005)
Best thing: Great imagery. A bath scene where water rises to the ceiling is spectacular. We also have some awesome shambling Samara movements as she climbs the well in a climactic piece of imagery.
Worst thing: To up the ante from the runaway horse scene in the previous film, this time we have a big herd of deer acting strangely. The CG required for this scene does not hold up well. I still thought the scene in question was creepy and dramatic though.
So this was a flop? I don't get it. This has a genuine mystery, some great imagery, doesn't rely on stupid jump scares. Seems to me, they brought in the original Ring director and he upped the game in every respect.
Yes that's right, I thought this was BETTER than the first American Ring movie.
Are there problems? Sure. But apart from some unfortunately dated CG in one scene, I'd say all the problems were set up in the previous film.
We can't introduce the quirky doctor who knew Naomi Watts' psychic ex-husband in medical school because, in this universe, the ex-husband was neither psychic nor in medical school. Tying him into story through the girl in the mental hospital doesn't work so well either since Watts already pretty much tied up that loose end in the last movie.
So instead Naomi Watts needs to solve her problem with her son without a hare-brained plan to absorb the energy in a swimming pool. That solution simply wouldn't follow naturally. The alternative, which I won't spoil here, felt a little awkward. Still I am impressed by the decision to make use of the biological mother to keep the mystery going. Unlike in the Japanese films, the mother of Samara in the last film was a foster mother. That means Watts is able to track down the biological mother to get some extra clues.
The son is still a bit creepy, though I felt that at the start of the film they'd toned that down a bit, if only to contrast with his later behaviour when Samara possesses him. I get the impression that the spirit possession plot threw American audiences for a loop. Having not only already seen the original Ring 2, but also the failed sequel Rasen (Spiral) before it, I find it hard to empathise with the negative response Ring Two has received. While I found some imagery like milipedes and ladders were unintentionally hilarious last time around, this time I feel Hideo Nakata did about as good a job as could have been hoped for in continuing that version of the mythology and I was impressed.
B+
Sadako 3D (2012)
Best thing: Sadako-shaped animalistic monsters with huge legs and bloodstained mouths. The only genuinely creepy thing in the whole film. The tension in the scenes where they appear isn't exploited terribly well by the filmmakers, but they are still a cool creepy design.
I also liked how the video screens where our protagonist sees Sadako taunting her keep reverting to a J-pop music video. It's a great example of this film's wonderful sense of fun.
Worst thing: Rather than collapsing with contorted faces (or dying of some unrecognisable version of smallpox, as was claimed in Spiral, the more faithful and yet utterly dire adaptation of the second Ring novel), the victims now commit suicide. But one victim appears with a ridiculous Sadako wig (having presumably sprouted Sadako-esque hair instantaneously after seeing the cursed video clip). In a film with a lot of ridiculous elements, that scene just went too far for me.
The Sadako 3D films seem generally recognised as trash so my expectations were lowered (though goodness knows why after how underrated I found Ring Two). Admittedly, Sadako 3D IS trashy, but in quite an enjoyable way. And yes, the cursed videotape is now a cursed video clip on the internet...
Sadako 3D's manga style is a blessing and a curse. It has a level of creativity that the movie series needed, but it's a little silly and melodramatic, yet the characters also have a wonderful charm to them. When the protagonist's boyfriend says encouraging words to her in a flashback to high school, I found my spirits lifted enormously in that scene. So sweet!
Sure we start the film with a maniacal cackling villain and we are very clearly in a comic book world, but I've got to say, I found it was a lot of fun. It almost doesn't matter that nothing in this film is actually even remotely scary.
Sadako's powers have changed a bit. Instead of just a corrosive grip or a symbolic shamble towards doomed victims, Sadako now leaps from computer screens and can also strangle victims with her hair. We even see her form a kind of hair cocoon at one point. Certainly it's a bit silly, but there's an intentional sweet and silly tone consistent throughout.
I also need to address some misinformation spread all across the internet in regards to this film. Every English-speaking website seems to claim that Sadako 3D is a sequel to Rasen. That is utter nonsense! Ring 2 ended with Sadako's body returned to ths sea, but her spirit clearly still tied to the well and desperate to be reborn. (The story is resolved with Sadako seemingly no longer a threat, but then in Sadako 3D she only becomes a threat again because the over-the-top villain invokes her.) Rasen, however, finished with Sadako already reborn (alongside one of the heroes from the first movie, now unexpectedly in league with her). If Sadako 3D were a sequel to Rasen, wouldn't we need some explanation as to where her fully grown clone with all her memories has disappeared to? No, Sadako 3D still has Sadako's spirit stuck in the well. It is clearly a sequel to Ring 2. If the filmmakers really intended it as a sequel to Rasen then they clearly forgot how that movie finished and couldn't be bothered to check (because nobody cares about Rasen).
Sadako 3D was very nearly a solid film and, while trashy and often daft, has a lot of appeal due to some serious charm. For fans of the Ring movies I would actually recommend checking it out. It's not all that great, but I don't think Ring fans will regret having seen it.
C+
Best thing: Occasionally this film goes full Evil Dead with Sadako victims acting like deadites. At one point we see Sadako's well overflowing with blood. My favourite Evil Dead moment features a possessed woman getting her hair trapped in a shredder only to start swinging a whole shredding machine at the protagonist by her hair!
Worst thing: Last time we had a man spontaneously growing long black hair. This time we have a full train of them! There are a lot of unintentional laugh out loud moments, often when the film is aiming to be creepy and a train full of overacting men in suits sprouting long computer-generated black hair while convulsing on the spot really took the biscuit. What was supposedly meant to be a horrifying string of Sadako victims came off as one of the daftest points in the film.
I feel like the filmmakers of Sadako 3D 2 don't quite understand what worked about the first movie. They seem to understand that the first film wasn't scary enough and whatever they still lack in fear they now make up for with gore. We have some really dark manga-esque moments related to our protagonist's memories of her mother's suicide. A bathtub full of blood is used as a recurring image.
Unfortunately there is little familiar here. The main character appears to have died and the boyfriend is constantly at work. His sister is now the protagonist dealing with a creepy Sadako-esque child who draws images of people dying giving all of them Sadako hair. We get a scene dedicated to the villain from the last film, even though he should be dead.
The story felt a bit repetitive and dull for the most part. The child seems more of a character than the sister looking after her, but she's too enigmatic and quiet for us to really relate to. Her father is infuriatingly neglectful, shocked by any suggestion that his child might be connected to the shocking deaths occurring all around her, yet seemingly not interested in looking into what is clearly a reappearance of Sadako.
When the sceptical detective from the last film outlines the situation to the new detective on the case I love how the new detective confesses: "I have no idea what you are talking about." It's refreshing to hear someone acknowledge that the backstory of a psychic who wants to be reborn is batshit crazy.
As cool as all the suicide-related imagery was, it was a major downer. This film had more unintentionally funny moments too which made for an awkward contrast with the darker tone. The reveals in the third act get pretty nuts and sadly they also get pretty exposition-heavy.
Sadako 3D 2 isn't exactly terrible. Sure, it's not a good film, but it's still quite watchable. I'd certainly rather watch this than Rasen or even the Korean remake. But Sadako 3D 2 is one hell of a mess.
D+
